I’m okay

it hurts really. I know youre already okay and now happy with your new life and im here still pretending that everything is going to be fine even i dont know when or how but all i can do is to stand up straight and try my best to be strong enough to tell you that im okay. not because i dont mean to pretend but because i just want you to see that i can stand up now even without you who used to be the one who hold my hand and take care of me because like just what you said before im too clumsy for my life then you left me. I try so hard to practice this smile so i have the guts to show it to you. this is all i can do for now because im still drown into the fact that you will never be part of my life again. I think this is enough i dont want to talk i just wanted to answer you im okay. Continue reading “I’m okay”

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I’m okay

I can still feel your hands thru my hair. Your fingers passing in every strands of it and your palm resting on my head, i felt a sudden sadness that i may not feel that again.

I can still taste the smoke in your lips and your breath to my neck and ears, but i felt to brag like a child because i want that to happen again.

I can still  feel your body rest against me, your heart beats with mine your arms protecting me, and now i can still recognize your smell but the difference is without you.

Maybe im wrong, maybe if i only let you stay, maybe if im brave enough to stay with you, maybe if i just let myself be me,im probably with you now , without the longing and missing because darlin i want to spend every night with you.